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Find your way through a hard question

Should you stay in your relationship?

Guides grounded in published relationship research — every claim sourced, nothing to sell you. Start with what's actually happening:

Every guide cites its sourcesGottman, Johnson, Kirshenbaum, Doherty — footnoted, checkable. How we work
Your answers stay yoursNo account, no email wall, no ads — quiz answers never leave your browser. Privacy
No verdictsResearch can read patterns; it can't decide your life. We point to next steps, including real therapists.
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Rough patch — or the end? How to tell the difference

A rough patch has a cause you can point to — the new baby, the move, the diagnosis — and underneath it, fondness and repair stay intact. Structural decline doesn't need a reason. The first question isn't how bad this feels; it's whether repair still works when one of you reaches for it.

7 min read5 sourcesUpdated May 2026
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Find your guide

Specific reads for what's actually happening — not generic advice.

After the affair: stay or go?7 min We're more roommates than partners7 min I love them, but I'm not happy7 min There are kids involved7 min The sexless relationship: season or verdict?7 min They keep lying to you7 min “Maybe I'm the problem.”7 min Attracted to someone else6 min
All 33 guides →

Why we don't give verdicts

Most “should I stay” quizzes add up points and hand you an answer. That's not how the research works — and not how respect works. Certain findings (contempt, abuse, “it was never good”) outweigh everything else; most situations are patterns, not scores. We read the patterns with you and show our sources. The decision stays yours.

Grounded in the published work of John & Julie Gottman, Sue Johnson (EFT), Mira Kirshenbaum, and Bill Doherty.
Read our method and full source list →
01 Safety questions come first, always
02 Every claim is footnoted to its source
03 Patterns are read, never summed into a score
04 Next steps include real therapy, not our upsell
Situations, answered honestly

Composite situations — the questions people typically bring to this decision — answered from the research, sources shown.

“He hasn't touched me in eleven months.”

Is a sexless year a rough season or a verdict? On the difference between a body that's tired and a body that's left.

Answered Jul 20263 sources
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“She says I'm the problem. Maybe I am?”

He records arguments to check his own memory now. What that impulse already tells him.

Answered Jul 20263 sources
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“We're great co-parents. And nothing else.”

The house runs perfectly and the marriage doesn't exist. What the logistics are hiding, and for whom.

Answered Jul 20264 sources
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All situations →
When you're ready

Should we break up? — the quiz

29 questions, ten minutes, pattern-based — built on the same sources as the guides. You get a direction and a recommended next step, never a stay-or-leave verdict, because that call isn't a quiz's to make.

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Real help, beyond this site

Reading has limits. These don't belong to us — they're just good.

Who makes this

Stay or Go is a small, independent project — no ads, no affiliate links, no coaching packages, no email list. It exists because most “should I stay” content online is either a sum-scored gimmick or a sales funnel, and this question deserves better. Read the full story and our editorial rules →